I am often asked by brides how many bridesmaids are too many? Per The Knot, tradition dictates the number of bridesmaids you have. Weddings with 200 or more guests a bride can have up to 12 girls, and for less formal weddings between 1-6.
I always ask my bride, who are you in relationship with? Who are your closest friends and confidants? Those are the people you want to partner with you on your special day.
I often find when brides start making their bridesmaid’s list, they start from the moment they initially started dreaming about getting married. This could have been in high school, or even during your college days. So they’ll add the high school BFF on the list, or the college roommate. This leads to a list of 20+ bridesmaids. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having 20+ bridesmaids, but what I am saying is to do an assessment and see if you really have a true relationship with those people. Is it necessary for them to be a part of your special day as a member of the bridal party or can they play another role? The last thing you want to do is spend your day managing your girls and not get a chance to truly enjoy and bond with them before you walk down the aisle.
I have seen weddings with one bridesmaid to as many as 25 and both were beautiful. It is your wedding and you can definitely have as many bridesmaids as you want but ensure your bridal squad reflects those who you want nearest to you on your special day.
Ultimately I say surround yourself with positive and loving people who will be #teambride on your wedding day!
Got questions? I would love to hear your questions and provide my feedback. Please drop us a note in the comments or you can email us today!
Who doesn’t want to have an awesome #bridesquad to help encourage them during the planning process but most importantly to stand with you as you say “I do” to the love of your life.
So what should your bridesmaids know about being a bridesmaid?
- What costs they can expect for the day. It’s important to be upfront with your girls on the estimated costs they will be responsible for. The costs often include bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair & make-up, jewelry and accessories, and travel and hotel if needed.
- Provide them with key dates and times they will need to be available for dress fittings, luncheons, and wedding rehearsal.
- What pre-wedding day responsibilities do you expect them to oversee, such as planning your bridal showers, bachelorette parties, taking on wedding planning tasks, or even running errands for you the weeks leading up to your big day.
- What is the Overall Bridal Party Look. Provide them with details such as how you want them to wear their hair, specific nail color, shoe color and style, and wedding accessories.
- Who is your “go to” person for wedding day. I know every body loves the bride and wants to help but there should be one contact person from the bride’s side and the groom’s side who will coordinate with the wedding planner in regards to timeline details and questions that need to be answered. Having multiple people contact your planner with questions or feedback can become very confusing and time consuming. You don’t want time taken away from you or the important details that need to be managed.
- What they need to do on Wedding Day. Your planner will provide the wedding rehearsal and wedding day timelines. You can also tell each girl any specific duties you have assigned to them such as taking your dress to the venue, making sure your wedding bag is packed, or carrying and responding to your phone calls/text messages.
- Provide transportation details for wedding day. Although you will provide wedding day transportation to the wedding and reception but the bridesmaids will need to consider how to get to the designated meeting point and how to get their cars to the reception site (if different locations).
- Who will bustle your dress. All wedding dresses have different bustling techniques. You should make sure that at least two of your bridesmaids are able to know how to help bustle your dress.
- Be a listening ear. Wedding planning can at times become a little stressful when you have so many decisions to make. A planner will help to minimize this stress but sometimes you just want to release with one of your closest friends. Your girls should know that you love them and appreciate their support but sometimes you just need to vent, and that’s okay :).
- Lastly they are there to support you!!! I know it is easy to focus on not liking the dress chosen, or their shoes not being comfortable, or even thinking they would do something differently during the planning process. But it’s important to remember that it’s not about what they don’t like, it’s about what they do like and that’s YOU. And the most important thing is to make sure that you’re happy and stress free on one of the most important days of your life. Remember it’s about team #bridesquad not team #bridesmaidsquad.
Picking your bridal party is a very important task and it is a very fun role. But with that role comes some really important responsibilities. I think it’s important to share this commitment with your girls so they know exactly what’s expected of them so you guys can have a stress-free day and really enjoy the time together.
Next post we’ll be talking about some exciting ways to ask your Wedding Party to be a part of your special day. We would love to hear from you, so how did you ask your bridal party to be in your wedding?